Alberto's Pizza - Dupont Circle

Having just gotten off the Circulator starving, I went down into this basement level restaurant to get a slice. Of course, this being DC, it was "jumbo-sliced" (essentially serving a portion the size of 2 normal slices and charging you $5 for it). I vaguely remember enjoying the pizza before, even though the only other times I have been here have been past 2:00am on a weekend night with my taste buds blurred by PBR and bottom shelf rail drinks. But, what the hell, how bad could it be?

Of course, whenever someone ends a paragraph with a rhetorical question like that, you know it has got to be pretty friggin' bad. I basically spent a good 10 minutes trying to choke down a sheaf of dry, tasteless crust slightly reminiscent of pre-vamped Domino's (which is to say, corrugated cardboard). The sauce imparted texture, but no flavor, and the cheese was heartily preprocessed. Basically, I managed to salvage the meal by pouring on powdered "parmesan" cheese and red pepper flakes that helped cover up the taste.

But, I wouldn't necessarily mind returning, just so long as it is past 2:00am and my liver is on the brink of needing a transplant because of alcohol poisoning.